This school year has been quite a whirlwind for me. When we started back in August, I had no idea what this school year would bring. Initially, I was extremely hesitant about my class choices and how I was positioning myself to not succeed. This year was going to be the hardest one yet and I was paralyzed in fear of making mistakes at the beginning. But, what I could not have anticipated was that this year was going to be the single best year of school yet. And here’s why.
Coming back from New York, I was reinvigorated with an excitement to learn, and that propelled me to find everything I would work on interesting. Whether it was English or history or end physics (one of the harder subjects for me), I was able enjoy at the very least parts of everything I was taught. I learned to love learning in school and just not on my own, which made me appreciate school even more. Combined with my teachers and my peers, I was able to learn at a higher level than I ever have.
This year, however, didn’t come without the struggles. Those were the moments that truly shaped this year for me. I had points when I wanted to drop classes, didn’t want to take on the challenge, and did not believe I could actually succeed the way I wanted to. I saw my friends doing amazing things and accomplishing their academic goals, all while I was struggling just to get by. I was putting in hours upon hours upon hours, and for a long time, I never, and even now, still don’t see the results of that hard work. I’m not going to lie I was jealous and angry that I saw other people putting in what i saw as less work and getting better results.
When I’d try to talk to anyone about hitting a wall, I got no almost no good advice from any of my peers. I was doing all the same things and working just as hard. Had it not been for my therapist, I probably would have been even more angry and upset every single day. I didn’t walk to talk to anyone at times and I didn’t understand what working hard actually would mean if I didn’t get everyone else’s results.
But this year taught me the most valuable lesson ever: to work hard, always, 100% of the time, and just learn to get better. I realized throughout this year that the work I put in is the only thing I can control. I can’t control how difficult my homework or tests are. But I can control how hard I work, and that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t let the downs ruin my weeks. I may have mulled over a bad grade for a day, but I knew everything else would suffer if I would stay stuck on one number.
This year brought me new relationships. I made stronger bonds with teachers I already knew and forged new ones with teachers I had this year. I met new friendships I knew were not even possible. Being in my school paper especially helped me realize that having a community that can support you and is a place where you can help others made this year so special. It was the people, not the classes, that made this year the most memorable yet.
College is on the horizon. I’m honestly freaking out on the inside about everything. Where do I want to go? What do I want to do for undergrad? Where do I want to be? All of the trials and tribulations have given me the arsenal to just pour my soul into the applications this coming fall. I cannot wait to see what next year has to offer, but in the meantime, I’ll be writing some fun posts the next couple weeks. I’ll see you all next week…
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